Simple rules for saving money: To save half, when you are fired by an eager impulse to contribute to a charity, wait and count to forty. To save three quarters, count sixty. To save all, count sixty-five.

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.

It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

The difference between fiction and nonfiction is that fiction must be absolutely believable.

It shames the average man to be valued below his own estimate of his worth.

Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead.

A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.