Simple rules for saving money: To save half, when you are fired by an eager impulse to contribute to a charity, wait and count to forty. To save three quarters, count sixty. To save all, count sixty-five.

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.

I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.

Learning to play two pairs is worth about as much as a college education, and about as costly.

For all the talk you hear about knowledge being such a wonderful thing, instinct is worth forty of it for real unerringness.