Good fathers not only tell us how to live, they show us.

What a man sees in the human race is merely himself in the deep and honest privacy of his own heart. Byron despised the race because he despised himself. I feel as Byron did, and for the same reason.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.

It has always been a peculiarity of the human race that it keeps two sets of morals in stock-the private and the real, and the public and the artificial.

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.