Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

It is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and not kick.

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction.

The observance of Thanksgiving Day-as a function-has become general of late years. The Thankfulness is not so general. This is natural. Two-thirds of the nation have always had hard luck and a hard time during the year, and this has a calming effect upon their enthusiasm.

The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid.