If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear.

Of all the unchristian beverages that ever passed my lips, Turkish coffee is the worst. The cup is small, it is smeared with grounds; the coffee is black, thick, unsavory of smell, and execrable in taste. The bottom of the cup has a muddy sediment in it half an inch deep. This goes down your throat, and portions of it lodge by the way, and produce a tickling aggravation that keeps you barking and coughing for an hour.

I am not an American. I am the American.

Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.

A sound heart is a surer guide than an ill-trained conscience.

The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.