Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.

I used to think my father was an idiot, until I turned twenty-one... Then I thought he was a genus.

All war must be just the killing of strangers against whom you feel no personal animosity; strangers whom, in other circumstances, you would help if you found them in trouble, and who would help you if you needed it.

History has tried hard to teach us that we can't have good government under politicians. Now, to go and stick one at the very head of the government couldn't be wise.

I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.

College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, & those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink.