When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.

I was born modest; not all over, but in spots.

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing.

There is no humor in heaven.

Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

They did not know it was impossible so they did it