My heart goes out to anyone who is making his first appearance before an audience of human beings.
Mark TwainThe Bible is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies. This Bible is built mainly out of fragments of older Bibles that had their day and crumbled to ruin. So it noticeably lacks in originality, necessarily. Its three or four most imposing and impressive events all happened in earlier Bibles; there are only two new things in it: hell, for one, and that singular heaven I have told you about.
Mark TwainMissionarying was a better thing in those days than it is in ours. All you had to do was to cure the head savageยดs sick daughter by a miracle- a miracle like the miracle of Lourdes in our day, for instance- and immediately that head savage was your convert, and filled to the eyes with a new convertยดs enthusiasm. You could sit down and make yourself easy now. He would take the ax and convert the rest of the nation himself.
Mark Twain