From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any FIRST AND FOREMOST object but one -- to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for HIMSELF.

I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.

All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.

The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.

Against a diseased imagination demonstration goes for nothing.

When you catch an adjective, kill it - perhaps the best possible advice for budding writers.

The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods. It remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate.