The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is being attacked, and every man will be glad of these conscience-soothing falsities

Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame.

The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.

Don't live in the past, don't ponder about the future, stay at the PRESENT moment NOW...always.

When in doubt, tell the truth. That maxim I did invent, but never expected it to be applied to me. I did say, "When you are in doubt," but when I am in doubt myself I use more sagacity.

All right, then, I'll go to hell.

Praise is well, compliment is well, but affection-that is the last and most precious reward that any man can win, whether by character or achievement.