Let us be grateful to Adam: he cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of labor.

Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time. You cannot eliminate habits that no longer serve you. You can only replace them with new habits that support your goals. Moment by moment, you need to live with awareness and structure the habits that you include or exclude in your days.

If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could to-day.

Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.

By law of periodical repetition, everything which has happened once must happen again and again -- and not capriciously, but at regular periods, and each thing in its own period, not another's and each obeying its own law.

The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.