Enthusiasm is caught, not taught.
The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo.
A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.
In Austria an editor who can write well is valuable, but he is not likely to remain so unless he can handle a sabre with charm.
There are three kinds of liars: liars, damned liars, and statisticians
Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.