Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.

Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.

I have always been rather better treated in San Francisco than I actually deserved.

A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining.

The pitifulest thing out is a mob; that's what an army is--a mob; they don't fight with courage that's born in them, but with courage that's borrowed from their mass, and from their officers. But a mob without any MAN at the head of it is BENEATH pitifulness.

Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned

Modesty died when clothes were born.