An occultation of Venus is not half so difficult as an eclipse of the sun, but because it comes seldom the world thinks it's a grand thing.

Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.

I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's.

Always tell the truth; then you don't have to remember anything

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.

I admire him, I frankly confess it; and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.

Perhaps it will be simplest to throw away the tags and generalize India with one all-comprehensive name, as the Land of Wonders.