Never miss an opportunity to shut up.

Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.

When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface

Definite speech means clarity of mind.

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me.

Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.