Never miss an opportunity to shut up.

That is the way we are made: we don't reason, where we feel; we just feel.

It's not the parts of the Bible I don't know that worries me...it's the parts that I do.

An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good-natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect.

the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.

You may honestly feel grateful that homeopathy survived the attempts of the allopaths (orthodoxy) to destroy it.

The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass. If the case be otherwise, I beg his pardon and extend to him the cordial hand of fellowship and call him brother.