We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.

Figures don't lie, but liars figure.

Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot; and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879

If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.

Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?

Every man feels that his experience is unlike that of anybody else and therefore he should write it down-- he finds also that everybody else has thought and felt on some points precisely as he has done, and therefore he should write it down.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.