Comedy keeps the heart sweet.

George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

The [Kodak is] the only witness I have encountered in my long experience that I couldn't bribe.

While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.

When whole races and peoples conspire to propagate gigantic mute lies in the interest of tyrannies and shams, why should we care anything about the trifling lies told by individuals?

Talent without work is useless, thank God