Comedy keeps the heart sweet.

I'm the only person who has ever found the right way to build an autobiography.

Switzerland is simply a large, lumpy, solid rock with a thin skin of grass stretched over it.

I can't do no literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and looking around for a defendant.

As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.

I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.