Whatever a man's age, he can reduce it several years by putting a bright-colored flower in his button-hole.

The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.

Look at you in war...There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.

I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it. The man who can guess these riddles is far on the way to guess why the human race was invented - which is another riddle which tires me.

I can't do no literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and looking around for a defendant.

When you catch an adjective, kill it.

To do something, say something, see something, before anybody else -- these are things that confer a pleasure compared with which other pleasures are tame and commonplace, other ecstasies cheap and trivial.