I was armed to the teeth with a pitiful little Smith & Wesson's seven-shooter, which carried a ball like a homopathic pill, and it took the whole seven to make a dose for an adult. But I thought it was grand. It appeared to me to be a dangerous weapon. It had only one fault - you could not hit anything with it.

I hate editors, for they make me abandon a lot of perfectly good English words.

There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.

Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilt.

In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race - never quite sane in the night.

The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, of ungraceful and gilded forms of charitable and unselfish lying.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.