I was armed to the teeth with a pitiful little Smith & Wesson's seven-shooter, which carried a ball like a homopathic pill, and it took the whole seven to make a dose for an adult. But I thought it was grand. It appeared to me to be a dangerous weapon. It had only one fault - you could not hit anything with it.

We get our morals from books. I didn't get mine from books, but I know that morals do come from books- theoretically at least.

More than one cigar at a time is excessive smoking.

Whatever thing men call great, look for it in Joan of Arc, and there you will find it.

Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness.

As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy; it was not named in his cargo list and he and the boys were not aware that there was such a creature. He said he could not blame himself for not knowing about the dinosaur, because it was an American animal and America had not then been discovered.

College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.