Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

Baseball is the very symbol, the outward and visible expression of the drive and push and rush and struggle of the raging, tearing, booming nineteenth century.

France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.

If I'd seen a playwright ever write an' play at the same time, I'd have given 'em more of a chance at cards. Can I get an 'amen?'

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.