Demagogue--a vessel containing beer and other liquids.

There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.

In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, one when he was a boy and one when he was a man

Shall we go on conferring our Civilization upon the peoples that sit in darkness, or shall we give those poor things a rest?

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.

As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.

the size of a misfortune is not determinable by an outsider’s measurement of it but only by the measurements applied to it by the person specially affected by it.