I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.
Mark TwainHerschel removed the speckled tent-roof from the world and exposed the immeasurable deeps of space, dim-flecked with fleets of colossal suns sailing their billion-leagued remoteness.
Mark TwainIf you should rear a duck in the heart of the Sahara, no doubt it would swim if you brought it to the Nile.
Mark TwainWhat is it that strikes a spark of humor from a man? It is the effort to throw off, to fight back the burden of grief that is laid on each one of us. In youth we don't feel it, but as we grow to manhood we find the burden on our shoulders. Humor? It is nature's effort to harmonize conditions. The further the pendulum swings out over woe the further it is bound to swing back over mirth.
Mark TwainLet us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles
Mark TwainIf the bubble reputation can be obtained only at the cannon's mouth, I am willing to go there for it, provided the cannon is empty. If it is loaded my immortal and inflexible purpose is to get over the fence and go home. My invariable practice in war has been to bring out of every fight two-thirds more men than when I went in. This seems to me Napoleonic in its grandeur.
Mark Twain