Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

We laugh and laugh. Then cry and cry- Then feebler laugh, Then die.

Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.

Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness.

Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve, the first woman, and Satan, the first consultant.

Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.

You can go to heaven if you want. I'd rather stay in Bermuda.