Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.

I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.

I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.

Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.

Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, politics or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations and sympathies. Broadly speaking, there are none but corn-pone opinions. And broadly speaking, Corn-Pone stands for Self-Approval. Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people. The result is Conformity.

The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.

[I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.