I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.

Man proposes, but God blocks the game.

The cigar-box which the European calls a 'lift' needs but to be compared with our elevators to be appreciated. The lift stops to reflect between floors. That is all right in a hearse, but not in elevators. The American elevator acts like a man's patent purge-it works.

There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.

You must not pay a person a compliment, and then straightway follow it with a criticism.

Stripping away the irrational, the illogical, and the impossible, I am left with atheism. I can live with that.

It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.