There isn't anything you can't stand if you are only born and bred to it.

Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.

The darling mispronunciations of childhood! - dear me, there's no music that can touch it; and how one grieves when it wastes away and dissolves into correctness, knowing it will never visit his bereaved ear again.

Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.

My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one's country, not to its institutions or its office-holders.

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.