I have no liking for novels or stories - none in the world; and so, whenever I read one - which is not oftener than once in two years, and even in these same cases I seldom read beyond the middle of the book - my distaste for the vehicle always taints my judgment of the literature itself, as a matter of course; and also of course makes my verdict valuless. Are you saying "You have written stories yourself." Quite true: but the fact that an Indian likes to scalp people is no evidence that he likes to be scalped.

If books are not good company, where shall I find it?

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.

The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.

Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.