Imagine, if you will, that I am an idiot. Then, imagine that I am also a Congressman. But, alas, I repeat myself.

The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible.

They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose it is so.

I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very much better when they got well.

At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.

One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.