Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.

Behind intimidating messages are simply people appealing to us to meet their needs.

Often, instead of offering empathy, we have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling.

When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. When people hear diagnoses, it provokes defensiveness and attack.

We are this divine energy. It's not something we have to attain. We just have to realize it, to be present to it.

If you are a jackal, you will try to reassure. Jackals try to fix people in pain. They can't stand pain, but make matters worse by trying to get rid of it. Put on giraffe ears. Try to hear what they are feeling and needing.

NVC is language, thoughts, communication skills and means of influence that serve my desire to do three things: 1) to liberate myself from cultural learning that is in conflict with how I want to live my life. 2) to empower myself to connect with myself and others in a way that makes compassionate giving natural. 3) to empower myself to create structures that support compassionate giving.