Often, instead of offering empathy, we have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling.

Translate all self-judgments into self-empathy.

We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.

In our culture, most of us have been trained to ignore our own wants and to discount our needs.

Regardless of our many differences, we all have the same needs. What differs is the strategy for fulfilling these needs.

Natural Giving: Anything we do in life which is not out of that energy, we pay for and everybody else pays for. Anything we do to avoid punishment, everybody pays for. Everything we do for a reward, everybody pays for. Everything we do to make people like us, everybody pays for. Everything we do out of guilt, shame, duty, or obligation, everybody pays for.

The more we use words that in any way imply criticism, the more difficult it is for people to stay connected to the beauty within themselves.