Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing. Instead of offering empathy, we often have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling. Empathy, however, calls upon us to empty our mind and listen to others with our whole being.

The more we use words that in any way imply criticism, the more difficult it is for people to stay connected to the beauty within themselves.

We are responsible for what we hear other people say and for how we act.

We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.

You're going to lose it when you follow the world "feel" with the words "because I think". Any time you are thinking, your chance of getting what you need is greatly decreased, especially when you follow the word "think" with the word "you". I predict you won't only not get heard, but I predict a defensive aggressive reaction.

We are never angry because of what others say or do. It is our thinking that makes us angry.

NVC is a reminder; to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.