Power-Over leads to punishment and violence. Power-With leads to compassion and understanding, and to learning motivated by reverence for life rather than fear, guilt, shame, or anger.

Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.

Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise or rewards.

Getting in touch with unmet needs is important to the healing process.

Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.

What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.

When we listen for their feelings and needs, we no longer see people as monsters.