Needs are the expression of life through us.

When I recognize I've got anger, then I realize it's because I have a need that's not being met.

The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.

If you have an image of someone cutting off a relationship, it's the cutting off that will lead to your suffering. If you see the action as their need being expressed, then the message is within them, not you. Any interpretation you put onto another person's message (such as passive-aggressive, withholding, etc.), you will pay for because of how you took it.

When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back.

What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.

Never give advice to your children unless you have it in writing and notarized.