If we become skilled in giving ourselves empathy, we often experience in just a few seconds a natural release of energy which then enables us to be present with the other person. If this fails to happen, however, we have a couple of other choices.

To be able to hear our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression.

NO is always a YES to something else.

All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.

With empathy we don't direct, we follow. Don't just do something, be there.

Never question the beauty of what you are saying because someone reacts with pain, judgment, criticism. It just means they have not heard you.

When you ride the wave, the thrill is so exhilarating that you forget everything else. You live in the moment where nothing else matters, so intent on riding the wave perfectly that you and the wave become one. Pain and worry disappear, replaced by euphoria, akin to flow. Similarly, when giving empathy, you want to strive for this kind of total presence for the person you are listening to.