Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.

Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.

People don't make us angry, how we think makes us angry.

NVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish.

I recommend allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before turning our attention to solutions or requests for relief. When we proceed too quickly to what people might be requesting, we may not convey our genuine interest in their feelings and needs; instead, they may get the impression that we're in a hurry to either be free of them or to fix their problem. Furthermore, an initial message is often like the tip of an iceberg; it may be followed by yet unexpressed, but related - and often more powerful - feelings.

We want to take action out of the desire to contribute to life rather than out of fear, guilt, shame, or obligation.

Often, instead of offering empathy, we have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling.