When we have our consciousness on needs, images come to us, naturally, of how to meet those needs.

If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the more likely I am to get me own needs met.

Fear of punishment diminishes self-esteem and goodwill.

NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.

If we don't tell people about our needs, it is much less likely they will be met.

To do this, you can bring in nothing from the past. So the more psychology you've studied, the harder it will be to empathize. The more you know the person, the harder it will be to empathize. Diagnoses and past experiences can instantly knock you off the board. This doesn't mean denying the past. Past experiences can stimulate what's alive in this moment. But are you present to what was alive then or what the person is feeling and needing in this moment?

Fix-it jackals can't wait to fix it, because they don't know how to enjoy pain. And until you learn how to enjoy pain, you can't enjoy intimacy.