If we don't tell people about our needs, it is much less likely they will be met.

Please do as I requested, only if you can do so with the joy of a little child feeding a hungry duck. Please do not do as I request if there is any taint of fear of punishment if you don't. Please do not do as I request to buy my love, that, is hoping that I will love you more if you do. Please do not do as I request if you will feel guilty if you don't. Please do not do as I request if you will feel shameful. And certainly do not do as I request out of any sense of duty or obligation.

We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred.

I'm going to show you a technology today which takes insults and criticisms out of the airwaves. (Marshall puts on giraffe ears) With this technology, it will be impossible for you to hear criticisms, harsh remarks, or insults. All you can hear is what all people are ever saying, "please" and "thank you". What used to sound like criticism, judgment, or blame, you will see, are really tragic, suicidal expressions of "please".

We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.

Empathize with silence by listening for the feelings and needs behind it.

All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.