Fix-it jackals can't wait to fix it, because they don't know how to enjoy pain. And until you learn how to enjoy pain, you can't enjoy intimacy.

Often, instead of offering empathy, we have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling.

Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison); 2. Denial of Responsibility; 3. Demand; 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.

Unless we as social change agents come from a certain spirituality, we're likely to create more harm than good.

There are the two main reasons we don't get our needs met. First, we don't know how to express our needs to begin with and second if we do, we forget to put a clear request after it, or we use vague words like appreciate, listen, recognize, know, be real, and stuff like that.

Punishment also includes judgmental labeling and the withholding of privileges.

To practice the process of conflict resolution, we must completely abandon the goal of getting people to do what we want.