Empathize, rather than put your "but" in the face of an angry person.

They have most likely said it because they have an unmet need.

Empathy allows us to re-perceive our world in a new way and move forward.

Very often, the way love is defined, it does violence to both people. It almost makes them a slave to the other. For example, if to be in love, or to be married, it means that I'm responsible for the other person's happiness, now we get into this guilt game, where if they're upset, I'm at fault. Soon, that makes the person we are closest to about as much fun to be around as a prolonged dental appointment.

When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy.

When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.

Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.