Empathize with silence by listening for the feelings and needs behind it.

People do not hear our pain when they believe they are at fault.

When I recognize I've got anger, then I realize it's because I have a need that's not being met.

As soon as you say, "are you feeling X because I ..." Then the Jackal starts to salivate because he can educate the person that he's the cause of his pain.

Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.

The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.

Self-empathy in NVC means checking in with your own feelings and needs.