When we fear punishment, we focus on consequences, not on our own values.

We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.

Learning is too precious to be motivated by coercive tactics.

All moralistic judgments, whether positive or negative, are tragic expressions of unmet needs.

At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.

Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needs

When you ride the wave, the thrill is so exhilarating that you forget everything else. You live in the moment where nothing else matters, so intent on riding the wave perfectly that you and the wave become one. Pain and worry disappear, replaced by euphoria, akin to flow. Similarly, when giving empathy, you want to strive for this kind of total presence for the person you are listening to.