As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized.

A second even more obvious sign is that the person will stop talking. If we are uncertain as to whether we have stayed long enough in the process, we can always ask, "Is there more that you wanted to say"?

Anger, depression, guilt, and shame are the product of the thinking that is at the base of violence on our planet.

If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the more likely I am to get me own needs met.

Focusing on the unmet need (not the judgment) is more likely to get the need met.

All human actions are an attempt to meet needs.

What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.