As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized.

Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needs

NVC enhances inner communication by helping us translate negative internal messages into feelings and needs. Our ability to distinguish our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression.

When we have our consciousness on needs, images come to us, naturally, of how to meet those needs.

Fear of punishment diminishes self-esteem and goodwill.

We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.

With empathy, I'm fully with them, not full of them — that's sympathy.