As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized.

A respectful understanding of another's experience.

We know the speaker has received adequate empathy when a. we sense a release of tension, or b. the flow of words comes to a halt.

All people ever say is: THANK YOU (a celebration of life) and PLEASE (an opportunity to make life more wonderful).

Learning is too precious to be motivated by coercive tactics.

Conventional compliments often take the form of judgments however positive, and are sometimes offered to manipulate the behavior of others. NVC encourages the expression of appreciation solely for celebration.

All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.