If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV.

Let's face it, all the good stuff happens after midnight.

Don't have a cow, man.

Today is the first day of the rest of your short, brutish existence as a sentient creature before being snuffed out into utter nothingness for all eternity.

Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons." --Mr. Burns

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

I went to Bali, and I was in a small village, and somebody who was with me showed a woman a little figurine of Bart and asked: 'Do you know who this is?' And she said: 'Mickey Mouse.'