Of course I’ve gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring and no one listens to you! — Russ Cargill

Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians.

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

The world ends when I die. And as far as I'm concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too.

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.

We've been running a little behind schedule. But only by about 15 years or so.

You've got to embrace the future. You can whine about it, but you've got to embrace it.