NEVER! Never, Marge! I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called 'City Fathers' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?!

When you're as important as I am, getting your feelings hurt by me is almost an honor.

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

People go into cartooning because they're shy and they're angry. That's when you're sitting in the back of a classroom drawing the teacher.

Well, most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid. I vowed that I would never forget.

A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!

I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.