NEVER! Never, Marge! I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called 'City Fathers' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?!

Because good writing in a TV cartoon is so rare, I think the animation on The Simpsons is often overlooked.

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces...I just know they're about to jab me with something.

How can I be expected to love someone who tries such crude manipulations as bringing me breakfast in bed?

First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.

You know, I've been thinking. Everyone makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches but usually the jelly drips out all over the side and the guy's hands get all sticky. But your jelly stays right in the middle where it's supposed to. I don't know how you do it? You just got a gift, I guess. I've always thought so. I've just never mentioned it. But it's time you knew how I feel. I don't believe in keeping feelings bottled up. Goodbye, my wife.

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on." Homer Simpson