When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces...I just know they're about to jab me with something.

I'm not going to stop torturing myself till I figure out the cause of my pain.

The world ends when I die. And as far as I'm concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too.

The scary thing about the future... there will be tiny cameras everywhere, and they'll be flying around like mosquitoes and drones. That will be bad. Drones are scary. You can't reason with a drone.

When you're as important as I am, getting your feelings hurt by me is almost an honor.

I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and read a few books and go to college and watch the show again, they can get it on a completely different level.

You know, I've been thinking. Everyone makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches but usually the jelly drips out all over the side and the guy's hands get all sticky. But your jelly stays right in the middle where it's supposed to. I don't know how you do it? You just got a gift, I guess. I've always thought so. I've just never mentioned it. But it's time you knew how I feel. I don't believe in keeping feelings bottled up. Goodbye, my wife.