Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!

The French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny, yet no French sex comedies are funny.

Homer no function beer well without.

I think human beings probably resonate with audiences more than bunnies, but who knows?

Today is the first day of the rest of your short, brutish existence as a sentient creature before being snuffed out into utter nothingness for all eternity.

I have to say that The Simpsons comes from a huge number of great writers headed by Al Jean, the show-runner, and the work that they do is really fantastic. It's a blast just to sit around with them in the writers' room and listen to all the filthy jokes that will never get on the air.