Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.

I've conducted an experiment on my kids. Instead of denying them access to media, I've encouraged it. They read comic books, play Nintendo and watch way too much TV.

Oftentimes, what seems to be a street lunatic charging at me spouting gibberish turns out to be a devoted 'Simpsons' fan quoting their favorite line.

Homer no function beer well without.

You've got to embrace the future. You can whine about it, but you've got to embrace it.