Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

Most TV shows don't reward you for paying attention.

If I have one technology tip of the day, it's this: No matter how good the video on YouTube is, don't read the comments, just don't, because it will make you hate all humans.

You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.

Being a good embalmer is a thankless job.

The really great thing about having two TV shows going on at the same time is that I can go to one and say that I have to go and visit the other and then I can just go home and they don't know.