Everybody is clever, just in their own ways

I think people who work in comedy and humor are hesitant to analyze it too much, because you feel like if you take it apart, you'll break it and not be able to put it back together again.

A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!

I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.

Oftentimes, what seems to be a street lunatic charging at me spouting gibberish turns out to be a devoted 'Simpsons' fan quoting their favorite line.

You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.

I was always frightened by taverns. They just seemed like very unpleasant places to go.