When DVDs finally disappear, I'm going to be sad. I'll miss the commentaries.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Back in high school, I wrote a novel about a character named Bart Simpson. I thought it was a very unusual name for a kid at the time. I had this idea of an angry father yelling "Bart," and Bart sounds kind of like bark - like a barking dog.

The thing that makes me happiest about Simpsons Illustrated are all the drawings that we get from readers. I wish we could print them all. They're really imaginative. They show a lot of hard work.

I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.

Most TV shows don't reward you for paying attention.

I was always frightened by taverns. They just seemed like very unpleasant places to go.