Being a good embalmer is a thankless job.

I've conducted an experiment on my kids. Instead of denying them access to media, I've encouraged it. They read comic books, play Nintendo and watch way too much TV.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson

I didn't lie, I was writing fiction with my mouth.

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

I also found child's play - stuff that was not considered serious, but goofy - was the stuff I liked to do, so I still do it as an adult.